Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK season 11 recap, bootcamp

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X Factor bootcamp 1

Both via.

Both via.

Mel B + Cheryl 4EVA.

The dramatics of the 6-seat challenge do not interest me, especially when it results in a stupid sing off where a manufactured group gets in over a real group who has their own songs. I fast forward through most of these shenanigans.

Best secret dialogue

“You’ve got a hard category”- Cheryl
“In what way?”- Simon
“It’s good”- Cheryl

Biggest WTF

An EIGHT PERSON (as yet unnamed) boyband? I hope at least two of them drop out before judge’s houses. I think James Graham and the 14 year old (I don’t remember his name) overshadowed the rest.

Worst producer decision

Not showing us the solo performances of the first part of bootcamp. Those are some of the most exciting performances, and then we would have been more attached to the boys/girls that were cut and reformed into groups.

Best peer pressure

Cheryl harassing Simon after every one of his overs that he needed to get rid of Raign. She prevailed, though, as Simon eventually switched her out for Fleur.

Best throwback to an earlier gif

Cheryl can finally use a straw! YAY!

Worst accessory

Ben Haenow’s tongue ring. Is it 1995?

Saddest moment

The elimination of Overload. Their performance wasn’t great (“9 to 5” is a bad song for the shortlist, producers) but I was looking forward to them in the lives.

Biggest WTF, pt 2

Blonde Electric’s existence, let alone that fact that they’re through, is totally puzzling to me. Instead of watching their performance, just admire this gif of Cheryl being pretty and doing a great hair toss.

Best contestant that I hope returns next year please please please it would be a good story producers, don’t lose her number

The ever-nervous Kayleigh Manners.

Favorite performances, by category

Girls

Emily, Emily, Emily. She sings an Ellie Goulding song WHILE wearing a party dress and trainers. How could this not be my favorite?

I also loved Stephanie Nala’s “Wicked Games.” She should leave X Factor immediately and just get a good producer.

Boys

I don’t super love the boys this year (the loss of James Graham to the groups category was strongly felt) but Jack Walton is pleasant, even though there are thousands of dudes at bars singing at the exact same level around the world.

Special mention to Hayden, who did not change the gender in “I Love Rock and Roll,” thereby avoiding my #1 reality singing competition show pet peeve. It is probably why he didn’t get through. Bravo, Hayden!

Overs

I will be cheering on Fleur East this year, thanks to this clever cover of “Paper Planes.”

Groups

Y’all, Only the Young is THE group to watch.

I’ll leave you with this clip of Stevi Ritchi going shopping with Sarah-Jane, the prettiest presenter in all the land, set to the Austin Powers theme song, from Xtra Factor.

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