Smart ladies love dumb TV, X Factor UK recap, live show three

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Biggest cutie patootie of England, Jake Quickenden, was eliminated from this week’s X Factor UK, after a sing off with Only the Young. But don’t worry, three fans who read these recaps, I have included tons of screenshots of shirtless Jake to ease the pain.

I want to call attention to what Cheryl was wearing Sunday to results night:

Worst song choice

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Even Simon Cowell did not approve of “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” However, Ben Haenow DID win most improved when he took out that labret piercing. It’s very 90s to me unless you’re legitimately punk, which Ben is so obviously not.

A bunch of pictures of shirtless dudes

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Even Jack Walton got in on the action! More Jack here.

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In gif format:

Here’s an entertaining gif of James Graham being pantsed:

Because I found it on tumblr, here is Parisa pantsing fellow Only the Young member Charlie.

Screencaps of Stevi Ritchie’s performance of “Footloose” presented without comment

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Why Only the Young were in the bottom two

This is how Parisa Tarjomani normally wears her hair:

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And this is how it was styled on Saturday night:

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The UK just can’t handle that huge change. It obviously had nothing to do with the fact that they went second (after “death slot” Jake) or were kind of terrible.

Why didn’t they do this sooner?

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I will probably refer to this post for the next six to eight weeks until I remember the names of the members of Stereo Kicks that aren’t James Graham (I also found gifs with names here!). It was really smart of the producers to break them up and get the audience to know them in small groups. Eight is SO overwhelming.

I DID find this naked picture of Jake Sims on tumblr. Apparently he posted it via his Twitter (before he was famous?), if it is even real. it is EXTREMELY NSFW.

Get a real job

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Doesn’t Louis Tomlinson have something better to do?

Best dressed

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Whoever is dressing Lauren Platt is doing a great job. However, she sang her second wildly-popular-song-from-a-cartoon of the season. Diversify, girl!

Product placement of the week

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Lola’s makeover, sponsored by Tresemme!

Prettiest

You’d think I was going to say Cheryl, didn’t you?

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But Marvin (JLS) and Rochelle (The Saturdays)  showed up! Marvin supports his former mentor Louis’ acts, while Rochelle prefers Lola.

Most precious

I still think Andrea Faustini is a classic white boy soul oversinger, but he does seem like a sweet dude. And how cute is that sweater he’s wearing in the gif above? WANT.

 

GET A ROOM

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Cheryl and Simon fought about Jay James, who did “Skyfall” and was utterly forgettable.

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Then she switched seats with Louis, who was happy to still be by Mel B.

Favorite performance

It’s not Fleur East this week, surprise! I really thought Stereo Kicks was clever with their staging of the two Beatles songs. The monochromatic outfits were a good idea too. James Graham was, of course, fantastic.

All screencaps by me. Other gifs and photos are credited below.

One Comment

  1. Four people read these things!

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