Previously on How I Met Your Mother, Ted told his two children Penny and Luke the story of how he met their mother for what has probably felt like nine years.
Melissa: I am growing increasingly nervous about this finale. It better not let me down like every other TV series finale I have ever seen. OH WAIT.
Katie: It better be better than the Friends finale which was LAME since I liked it better than I ever liked Friends.
Melissa: I thought the Friends finale was better than Will & Grace. I can’t remember many comedy shows that had real finales. I think I loved 30 Rock, but I haven’t re-watched it.
Katie: Oh I forgot about the Will & Grace finale they were ESTRANGED and only got back together when their kids were in college.
Melissa: What a stupid fucking storyline. Who thought it would be a good idea for them to stop being friends? Though I have been watching reruns and I forgot how hot Leo/Harry Connick Jr. was. I guess I forgot he acted.
Katie: He was so hot on that show. I wish I had watched the Frasier finale I might have but I forgot about it. The Seinfeld finale was awesome I loved that they ended in jail. The 30 Rock finale made me cry.
Melissa: TED SEES HER. I thought I would cry at that moment. I should have had some wine. Also, she doesn’t play the bass IRL. I am really good at noticing these things, thanks husband.
Katie: I don’t have any booze. What is wrong with me? Barney is totally hooking up Ted with the mom that’s so cute. It’s weird they didn’t have her play the guitar as, Cristin Milioti can play that in real life, she was in Once on Broadway (thanks Sirius XM).
MAJOR PLEASURE (I secretly love that gag). So two callbacks “major pleasure” and the “high five gag”?
Melissa: I am blogging about Precious for school. I should probably pay more attention. Aww Ted is besotted with her! She appears to be playing the bass better. Maybe we caught her at a bad moment earlier. I hope Ted doesn’t leave the wedding permanently.
Katie: I love wise old ladies. YAY TED AND THE MOTHER AT THE TRAIN STATION! I feel like I should be paying more attention too. I might re-watch this tonight.
OH I HAVE REESES PIECES, which kind of makes up for the lack of booze –not really.
Melissa: CANDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I finished my M&Ms from the Oscars just a few hours ago. I am slow.
Katie: I am not going to watch Friends With Better Lives or that show that’s 8 white people in the suburbs.
Melissa: Just say no to a show with no diversity. There aren’t any excuses anymore.
Katie: Oh Ted, I love you, hot air balloon and a castle that is totally a Ted wedding. I’m sad that Ted knocked up the mother before he could have his fancy wedding. See Robin and Barney are totally the Liz and Dick of this group.
Melissa: Now we’re in total fast forward mode. Sigh. I still care about Ted in 2014 more than I do in 2022 or whatever.
Katie: Lily’s hair in 2016 is terrible.
Melissa: OF COURSE Barney is a full-time blogger. He’s one of us! Except we have other jobs.
Katie: I think he left his job at GNB because he turned them into the FBI. Is Robin’s hair a bad wig OR just flat because she doesn’t have extensions in?
Melissa: This divorce is too soon in my narrative. DO NOT WANT.
Katie: OH we should start writing HIMYM fan-fic Also they are Liz and Dick they will inevitably get back together RIGHT!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I just saw the first TV trailer for Sex Tape and it looks terrible. Jason Segel has zero chemistry with Cameron Diaz. I hope there is a longer version I can put in Movie Trailer Monday.
Lily has terrible mom hair. I am obsessed with the wigs on this show.
Melissa: It’s weird that their big moments are having kids. If we didn’t see Marshall get a better job in the future, I would be really worried right now.
Katie: Cockamouse! Callback #3? Challenge accepted between Marshall and Barney might be callback #4. AND Ted was a hanging chad AGAIN.
Melissa: See I don’t even know where that is from. I am a bad HIMYM fan.
Katie: I really do not want Ted and Robin to get back together. That will be fucking lame.
Melissa: OH GOD NO. I would be so pissed. I hate friendships ending, especially when people acknowledge it. DENIAL.
Katie: Robin should take that apartment! Lily is making me tear up, DAMN YOU ALYSON HANNIGAN! I feel like she might be the HIMYM most valuable player. Lily’s 2018 hair is better than 2016. I need to stop being obsessed with the hair. MARSHALL IS A JUDGE! JUDGE FUDGE!
Melissa: If I stay out until 4am in 2018, please shoot me. Also, K, the hair is wacky, and it’s totally ok to be obsessed with it. It’s funny that they didn’t try to update the clothes but they kept changing the hair. KATIE THEY’RE OPENING A SHAKE SHACK IN TYSONS. I KNOWWWWWWWWWW. 1.5 HOURS FROM MILKSHAKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Katie: Barney is so sad. He needs to get back together with Robin. WHAT? I will eat there all the time. Is it at the mall? It’s at the MALL! I am so glad. Milkshakes when work is shit!
Melissa: More playbook? Isn’t this kind of pathetic? So there has been no hint of the mother dying yet.
Katie: I love the playbook music. I am sad Ted and the mother aren’t married. I hope they don’t get married on her DEATH BED! You brought up the dying.
Melissa: Maybe it will be on HIS mother’s death bed, as people have speculated. Because his mother didn’t live to see Ted married?
Katie: YOU ARE A GENIUS!!! Only 20 minutes left. I must say I am enjoying this more than whether or not Ross and Rachel get back together.
Melissa: Ross and Rachel were a foregone conclusion; I don’t think there was any doubt, which is why it was SO ANNOYING. Like, stop teasing it! Also I love Ted’s graying hair. It is kinda hot.
Katie: Robin looks fucking awesome in 2020. Ted is totally hot. NPH is killing it with this baby.
Melissa: Awww Barney, my cat is the love of MY life! We have so much in common.
Katie: I wish Ted was sporting Josh Radnor’s “I’m not filming HIMYM beard”.
Melissa: Josh Radnor, even hotter with a beard, like every other dude. Hahahah I love how fatherhood is making Barney boring (but still incredibly sexist, EYEROLL).
Katie: ROBIN. It’s crazy that we talked about Will & Grace and then the same thing kind of happened with the group and Robin.
Melissa: Yes! Exactly! I don’t know why they would really stop being friends with Robin, besides the fact that she was never in the country, like the Richard Engel of HIMYM world. But they have so much history!
Katie: Robin’s dress is AMAZING!
Melissa: It reminds me of that one J Lo wore on Idol a few weeks ago. I would look into this but I am really lazy. While I love “the mother” (no name yet? did I miss it?) I wish we could spend more time with her.
Katie: Nope, no name yet. I wish she had been in more episodes. I bet we find out in the vows. OR NOT.
Melissa: NOOOO SICKKKCKCKCKCKCKCK. THE WORST.
Katie: THIS SHOW!!! TRACY!!!
Melissa: She seems like a Tracy. Please don’t die, Tracy. TRACEY THORN!!! Oh man good music choice. NOOOOOOOO TED don’t ask out Robin.
Katie: FUCK NOOOOO! Poor Tracy.
Melissa: Why did she die? I am so sad. At least we didn’t see her die or her funeral or anything. Maybe that’s why the writers didn’t want us to get attached. HOLY SHIT THE WALKMEN. Fuck yes. This show has such good music cues. I love when they used AC Newman that time they jumped across the buildings.
Katie: The BLUE FRENCH HORN!!! The ultimate callback. They were so young.
Melissa: So, overall thoughts? It wasn’t funny enough. For an hour I wanted to laugh more, especially since I missed The Voice to watch it.
Katie: It was very maudlin. I felt a little toyed with but it does make sense since the bulk of the past nine seasons were about how much Ted loves Robin. I liked it better than Friends but not as much as 30 Rock.
Melissa: 30 Rock might be the ultimate comedy finale in the modern era (ie, since I started college). I’m actually not mad at HIMYM for doing what they did (unlike some people), I never felt I was promised a happy ending, but I hate that humor took a back seat to sadness and pointless fast forwards.